Some Days I Feel Like a Bad Mom

We all have moments where we feel like we are inadequate, moments where we feel like we are failing our children in some way.  These moments are often far and few between and my rational mind knows that it's simply not true, but my emotional self can't help but give in every now and then.

Last Sunday night, after Bolt and Simba were asleep in their beds I realized that we had a bag full of our boys' art on our living room floor that we hadn't touched all weekend.

Suddenly my mind was filled with thoughts of 2 year old Simba drawing pictures over the weekend and telling me he wanted to put them on his cubby to show Daddy.

Was he excitedly putting his art in his daycare cubby to show his parents who never looked or acknowledged it?

And there you have it, in a matter of moments I felt like the worst Mom ever. What parent doesn't nurture their children's inner artist,  encouraging them to be all they can be?

I resisted the desire to self-loathe and instead decided to look for a solution; a skill I'm trying to teach 4 year old Bolt.

With the help of some painters tape,  I had my boys' art on the wall for everyone to enjoy and as the hubs pointed out once the art gets ripped down and torn up, we can simply throw it in the recycling bin without any guilt. My boys' art will have been displayed, enjoyed and appreciated.

And just like that I had myself back on track; I'm not a bad Mom, I'm a real Mom who gets tired,  overwhelmed and sometimes forgets the little things, but aren't we all?

The 4 because I'm Four Rule

Preschooler logic is simple, straightforward and generally innocent. This is not always a good thing, but the 4 Because I'm Four rule takes advantage of our little ones need for power and our need for control.

Here's an example of 4 Because I'm four being the ultimate negotiating tool; on occasion Bolt will wrangle the bag of mini marshmallows out of the cupboard while I'm cooking dinner and although I don't want him to have treats, if I fully refuse him screaming, hitting and general chaos will ensue, which will negatively affect my ability to make dinner and ultimately result in hungrier, grumpier children.

So instead of just saying no, I start by reminding Bolt that I'm making dinner and we don't really need any snacks. When he assures me that the sky will surely fall if he doesn't have a marshmallow, I ask him how old he is. With great pride he will inform me that he is four and when I suggest that must mean he needs 4 mini marshmallows he tells me what a great idea I've had. Within moments the crisis has been averted; he happily runs off with 4 mini marshmallows in his grubby little hands and I finish cooking dinner in peace. It's truly win-win as far as I'm concerned.

I'm a firm believer in choosing your battles and 4 Because I'm four is a great compromise. It has almost infinite potential to be applied to negotiations with your child:

• 4 books before bed
• 4 vegetables before dessert
• 4 toys each when sharing
• 4 MORE minutes of snuggles
• 4 MORE minutes of TV/computer
• 4 treats

It's a simple rule, that we started about a year ago (and of course back then it was 3 because I'm three) but this simple concept has gone a long way to tame the frustration in our household.

Try it, you might be surprised. 4 Because I'm four is a great rule for preschoolers and toddlers alike.

Loving 'Love Child Organics'

My kids love, squeezy, squirty fruit snacks and I love whole, natural, minimally processed foods; fortunately Love Child Organics satisfies everyone. I admit the very first time I saw soft pouches of applesauce I worried about sticky spills in diaper bags if the kids didn't finish eating them; that was in vain however since neither Bolt or Simba ever has leftovers.  When presented with Love Child Organics, my boys gobbled them up before I could even grab my camera.

I love that EVERY pouch contains one of my all time favourite super grains, Quinoa as well as acerola fruit which provides a natural source of vitamin c.  Add to that nutritional powerhouse a variety of organic fruits and veggies and local Whistler residents John and Leah Garrad-Cole have finally created a packaged food that I want to feed my children.

And perhaps more importantly, my kids can't get enough. The second I showed the boys' the squeezy pouches of goodness they were begging to eat them and surprisingly neither of them expressed a preference among the flavours. We tried out three of the six flavours; 'Mangoes and Apples', 'Blueberries, Apples and Bananas' and the 'Sweet Potatoes, Carrots, Apples and Blueberries' and I promise you, not one single drop was spilled.

For all of us living an allergy-friendly life, I love that Love Child Organics are produced in a nut-free facility and are naturally gluten-free, dairy-free and kosher. I remember travelling around Asia looking for gluten-free, dairy-free baby food for Bolt when he was eight months old, it was a total nightmare. You'd be amazed how many of the non-fruit baby foods include at least one of the two.

Just in case you're worried, the packaging is all BPA-free and although only the cap is recyclable, the packaging is still a sound environmental choice.

Our pouches use 80% less material than many alternative forms of packaging. An independent audit of the life cycle of our pouches has shown that the energy used, and the environmental impact made, when making, transporting and destroying them is significantly less than PET plastic bottles, Tetra packs and glass. When compared to the glass jars commonly used for baby food, our pouches can use as little as 8% of the energy requirements.

You can find Love Child Organics in Wal Mart Stores and you can also check them out on their Website, Like them on Facebook and Follow them on Twitter and Pinterest.

Have you checked Love Child Organics out? What did your kids think?

I received three packages of Love Child Organics products for the purposes of this review; all opinions are my own.

Pirate Party Planning

I dislike party planning; I like parties, but the whole process of figuring out activities, food, decorations, not to mention cleaning my house, its just not for me.

My townhouse always seems crowded, loud and stuffy and despite my best efforts, everything seems disheveled. This year, I'm doing things differently.

We are NOT having the party at home; we are having a gymnastics party, where the kids will be entertained for a full hour.

We are keeping the party short; our facility rental is 2 hours, which is more than enough stimulus for a bunch of four year olds.

We are having two parties in one; my boys are 25 months apart and the thought of doing this all over again next month seems more than a little daunting. Instead we have a couple two year old joining in on the fun and we're calling it a joint party.

Pinterest is my saviour; I've been rounding up party ideas and inspiration and suddenly party planning is actually kind of fun.

I started off by sending out these invitations...

Source: lovelylittlesnippets.blogspot.com via Amber on Pinterest

And this inspired me to make a treasure map that will double as schedule of events for the kiddos, because knowledge (and the illusion of control) in the midst of chaos is essential if we want to minimize meltdowns.

Source: tangarangblog.blogspot.com via Amber on Pinterest

Although I can't draw myself, a guy at work happily doodled this treasure map, which we tea stained to give them an aged look.

And of course the kids need pirate hats. I considered these pins, but ended up going with this 3 pointed pirate hat pattern that I made using posterboard.

Source: simplesimonandco.com via Amber on Pinterest

Source: cheryl-comfort.blogspot.com via Amber on Pinterest

Source: servingpinklemonade.blogspot.com via Amber on Pinterest

And I'm certain the kids are going to love 'Feeding the Croc' instead of the Shark...

Source: jillo.smugmug.com via Amber on Pinterest

Bolt loved making making treasure chest loot bags, similar to this...

Source: coolest-kid-birthday-parties.com via Amber on Pinterest

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And I really wanted to make a treasure chest for the loot box, but I kept forgetting to bring a file box home.

Source: chicaandjo.com via Amber on Pinterest

So what do you think? Am I just imagining it or is this party gonna rock?

an update on my big boy

Having a child will turn you into a liar; its not something people tell you about parenthood, but its true.

Regardless whether you tell someone your child never cries, barely eats or always sleeps, you can be certain that he will do the exact opposite when you least expect it.

Case and point, just a week and a half after soul searching and admitting on MSB that my son has aggressive tendencies we started to see a shift in the boys behaviour. I suspect a defining moment was when he met my friends' 4 week old baby and we explained that his 18 month old brother wasn't a baby anymore.

These days he cries less, hits less, occasionally gives his brother hugs and engages in conversations with a newfound level of understanding that's absolutely adorable.

I'm just enjoying him so much; I love him to pieces.

Aggressive Children at Daycare

What would you do if there was a slightly aggressive child at your daycare? A boy with the tendency to push or hit if words did not have the desired effect?

What if you witnessed that child pushing YOUR child? What would you do then?

Worse yet, what if YOUR child was the aggressive one?

I ask because MY child, the boy, has aggressive tendencies. I assure you, we are present for both our children; we try and model good behaviour, we talk about (show and explain) gentle hands, feelings and emotions. We've tried empathetic parenting and time outs. We try and ensure that our boys get one on one time with each of us and we work to encourage and acknowledge good behaviour. We've been to the behavioural paediatrician and we've followed their advice, which included enrolling the boy in a very structured daycare.

Slowly but surely, we are seeing improvements; the boy now tells people when he doesn't like their behaviour or asks for a turn with a toy, but he doesn't seem to have the patience to wait and his words often turn to aggressive behaviours within seconds. All that being said, the boy is a very sweet and lovable little man who uses his manners and gives out hugs and love on a regular basis, particularly in one on one situations.

I know that this week two daycare parents have expressed concerns to the site director about my boy and I honestly don't know if there have been others in the past. I understand their concern for their child's safety and wellbeing and in no way begrudge those parents for expressing those feelings.

I just want them to know that we have those feelings too. That we empathize with their concerns because we worry about the effect the boy's behaviour will have on the baby's development.

I want those parents to know that we are acutely aware of the boy's behavioural issues and that we work every day to try and find a way to help him work through his issues. That we want him to have the skills to go through life without aggression and just like every other parent out there we are doing the very best that we possibly can in a challenging situation.

So if there's a particularly challenging child at your daycare, please take a moment and ask yourself, 'what if my child was the aggressive one?'

My baby's getting tubes in his ears

Before I had kids, I thought ear infections were inevitable, a rite of passage for new parents. I was wrong. The boy has had just one ear infection about four months ago. My one year old baby on the other hand, got his first ear infection within a week of his brother and has spent the majority of the time since then with an ear infection or on antibiotics to treat one.

After five rounds of antibiotics, a ridiculous number of trips to our family doctor and two trips to the ear, nose and throat specialist at Children's Hospital, my baby is scheduled for surgery. Minor surgery, but surgery none the less. He will be recieving a myringotomy and tympanostomy tubes, or simply, 'tubes in his ears'.

Although it was common practice in the past, recurring ear infections on their own are no longer considered adequate justification for putting tubes in a child's ears. As a mother, its hard for me to imagine that neither my sons constant pain and discomfort, nor his inability to function, learn and grow to his full capacity are reason enough to perform a minor surgery that would fully prevent further ear infections for at least a year. 

I'll admit I was apprehensive going into the hearing test, the doctor told me explicitly that if there was hearing loss then we would have sufficient justification for the surgery. Emotionally it was strange to find myself hoping that the baby would actually demonstrate some level of hearing loss.

He did in fact exhibit approximately 30% hearing loss, which they were able to confirm was a result of fluid in the inner ear. Much to my relief, the hearing loss is temporary and should return to normal once the tubes are in place and the fluid has drained. I recognize there are risks with surgery and putting a child under general anaesthesia, but my boy deserves to enjoy his young life and we feel the risks are well worth it.

We have just over a month until the surgery, now all I can do is hope he can make it that long without another ear infection. Sadly, it may be more realistic to hope for only one round of antibiotics.

Did your children suffer from ear infections?
Did you heal them holistically or with antibiotics?
Did your child need tubes in their ears? 

Saturday Sale at Well.ca

One of my absolute favourite online shopping destinations is Well.ca; their prices are comparable to my local drugstores and they offer free shipping, regardless how much you purchase.  They have tons of gluten-free products and with their Baby Club, you get special sale prices on baby products, including amazing sale prices on disposable diapers.

   

One of the products they carry, that I've been drooling over is the Zoku quick pop maker, which allows you to make fresh, healthy and delicious popscicles in a matter of minutes.  

This Saturday only, you can get a family grab bag that includes the Zoku Quick Pop Maker (Regular $69.99), Summer Infant Car Seat Shade (Currently $15.00), Badger Lightly Scented Sunscreen SPF 30 (Currently $15.99), Badger Balm After Sun Balm: Blue Tansy & Lavender (Regular $7.99), Vital Baby Free Flow Cup (Regular $3.99).

At a price of $69.99 for the entire grab bag, you're essentially buying the Zoku quick pop maker and getting everything else free! There is a limited number of grab bags available, so if you want one, make sure you buy early!

Nuts are NOT toys | a Momma Bear's plea

I believe in a mother’s instinct to protect her children; I belive that there are no limitations to the lengths a parent will go to ensure the safety of their child. Fortunately, for most of us, the moments when our Momma Bear must emerge are far and few between, however, when your child has a life-threatening allergy, the Momma Bear never gets a chance to hibernate.  When we discovered the boy was allergic to peanuts, we had to sort through out cupboards and reread the labels of products we’d been eating for years.

It’s difficult to decide where to draw the line with regard to the foods you allow your child to eat.  The allergist determined that the boy had no reaction to any other nuts, including tree nuts so we made the decision not to feed him, or keep in our home, any products that ‘may contain traces of peanuts’.  This is especially difficult for our family as many gluten-free products contain or are manufactured in facilities that process nuts. Fortuantely, as parents of an allergic child we are acutely aware of the food we buy and feed our children and our home is a location that we can control.

Public spaces on the other hand, can become a parent’s nightmare in a matter of moments.

Case and point, we were recently enjoying the summer weather at our local park with the boys; there is a fountain that drains down and around a small hill to a gate that traps the water, but can be released by the children. My boys, and almost all the other children, love to chase their ‘boats’ as they float down the river and open the gate.  We’ve seen ‘boats’ in a number of forms and on this particular day some older boys (probably around 7) were chasing leaves down the river.  Our boys were playing happily and the hubs and I were enjoying the peace and sunshine until suddenly the hubs noticed that the leaves had been replaced with nuts and shells.

We raced up to the boy and quickly explained to him that the other kids were playing with nuts and reminded him that he was very allergic.  We explained that we had to go home immediately because if he touched them, he might end up at the hospital. I felt awful cutting his playtime short so abruptly, and he was a upset for a few moments, but without doubt, keeping him safe is far more important than preventing a few tears of frustration.

As a parent, an aunt and a sister of individuals with life-threatening nut allergies, I know that I am hypersensitive and acutely aware of the presence of nuts in public places. For those of you who are not directly affected, its easy to forget that some people need not ingest their allergen in order to have an anaphylactic reaction. For my boy, touching a peanut butter sandwich crust resulted in two shots of epinephrine, a shot of steroids and a week of benadryl. I have a friend whose daughter had a reaction just from being in the vicinity of a peanut butter sandwich on a family outing.

If your child had a life-threatening allergy, how far would you go to keep him safe?

Nuts are a great source of nutrition for those that can ingest them and I wish that I could feed them to my children, but I can't.  If your child eats nuts, please take the time to teach them that nuts are not toys. If your children consume a snack that contains nuts in a public space, keep the snack localized and ensure you take a few moments and do a proper cleanup.  Simply washing hands, wiping tables, chairs or any other public items that may have been contaminated (even using just a baby wipe) can go a long way to keep an allergic child safe and healthy.

Please Momma Bear, won’t you help me protect my cubs?

Still Potty Training | Two & a Half Weeks Later

The word training sometimes feels synonymous with hard work, determination and frustration; especially when said training involves a toddler.  As you know, we started potty training in late December and although I was skeptical about 3-day potty training, I was willing to give it a try.

We didn't leave our house for five days, I washed countless pairs of 'big boy undies' and we kept our 'proud parent' hats on at all times.

So the moment of truth, is the boy potty trained?

Two and a half weeks, oodles of stickers, tic tacs and marshmallows later and the answer is still no.

Does he want to wear big boy undies? Yes.
Does he want to wear diapers? No.
Does he know he's supposed to pee in the potty?  Pretty sure that's a yes.
Does he want to sit on the potty? HECK no.

So what do we do?  We were making great strides, we were down to a totally manageable one accident a day when suddenly, as if a switch flipped, we were back to square one.  Refusal to sit on the potty, crying and screaming; literally all things no.

I'm fairly certain its a control thing and the truth is, he's right.  I can't make him sit on the potty and I certainly can't make him pee on command, but I'm also not sure where to go from here.  I've been offering him a diaper, reminding him to tell me when he has to pee and swooping him onto the potty when he does pee.  I've been giving ridiculous amounts of praise when he sits on the potty, even if its because I managed to get him there mid-stream.

But is that enough?  I'd let him wear diapers and lay off the training for a while if I thought that would help, but he's as adamant about not wearing diapers as he is about not sitting on the potty.

Honestly, its exhausting and I need a bit of inspiration.  I'd love to hear your suggestions on how to get through this particularly trying segment of potty training.

Potty Training | Day 2

The boy's going to be three in March, he doesn't like wearing diapers and he definitely knows 'the baby' wears them.  But, he doesn't like the potty; we don't think he's afraid of it, he watches us, tries to flush and used to wave 'bye bye'.  But, he also doesn't like new things and potty training is definitely a change.  I don't want to physically force him and I don't want to make it hard for him, but I've suspected for a while he was ready.

Then on Thursday he asked for 'no diapers', which I allowed, but as soon as I stepped into the kitchen he started peeing, all over his brother's new Amazing Animals Sing & Go Choo-Choo.

I don't necessarily think it was completely intentional, but I don't necessarily think it was coincidental either.

I asked on Twitter and Facebook and came across some good reading about a 3 day potty training plan.  It makes sense to me, don't confuse the kid by sometimes wearing diapers and sometimes wearing underwear.  Just slap on the big boy pants, tell him he's a big boy, give him lots of praise and make your entire day (well 3 days) completely about his pee.

Yesterday we went for it.

I had one of my best friends and her son over for the morning, which meant I had an extra pair of hands to help out with the boys, and the hubs had a half day at work for the new year, so I wasn't on my own.

Yesterday, we learned the boy has some serious bladder control.

He danced, he bounced, he squatted and of course he assumed the position; knees together, hands between the legs.  He didn't want to pee in those big boy pants, but he sure didn't want to go in the potty either.  He made it about 2.5 hours all toll and he spent over an hour putting off the accident.

Today, we got him to sit on the potty.

A definite improvement on crying 'no' and standing up immediately.  I took a suggestion to 'find his currency'  to heart and we've given a few Hot Wheels for his big achievements and designated a Lightning McQueen notebook only for use on the potty.  Then, around 4 this afternoon, we pulled the potty into the living room and got him to sit down (in the midst of an accident) with a new Dora book he got for Christmas and he finally relaxed.

Success! He peed in the potty.

It only happened once, but its still pretty fantastic all things considered.  Thank goodness the hubs was home, we're both exhausted and the boy is too, but I think we'll all be happier when the boy's out of diapers.

Toddler Allergy Testing

Allergies are my reality, nearly everyone in my family is afflicted, including the hubs' side of the family. We have symptoms ranging from anaphylaxis to oral allergies and pretty much everything in between, so it kind of felt like a given that our children would have allergies, to something.  So far the baby seems to be showing no indication of sensitivity, but as you all know the boy is a completely different story.

We've been waiting since January, when the mere touch of a peanut butter sandwich sent the boy to the hospital, to see the allergist at Children's Hospital (the reason the boy had bloodwork a couple weeks ago).  Although I received a pamphlet in the mail, I wasn't sure entirely sure what the visit would entail and whether we would be doing any testing at the appointment.  Regardless, I came prepared with snacks, juice and 'Bear' just in case.

I needed them all.

I was fortunate enough to have Kat along to watch the baby and walk him around in the Ergo carrier, I'm not sure what I would have done without her.  Although I was excited about getting some insight into the boys allergies, I was less than thrilled with an appointment at 1:30pm; at our house naptime starts promptly at one.

After a consult with the resident doctor and a chat with the supervising allergist, it was time to whip off the boys shirt and doing some prick tests.  He was tested for 23 allergens and had at least minor reactions to most of them, however he only showed up allergic to a handful.

In fact the only food allergen identified was peanuts, which was expected.  The tests indicated that he is likely outgrowing his dairy allergy and that his reactions to soy and wheat are not significant.  Which means that we have to begin slowly re-introducing dairy, soy and wheat into the boys' diet.

The allergist also identified cats, dust mites and grass pollen as allergens for the boy, which means we need to get extremely diligent about cleaning his bedroom.

All in all, our trip to the allergist was a positive one and I'm excited for the boy to start trying new foods again.  I simply hope that the allergist is right and that he can tolerate these allergens particularly now that his eczema is (for the most part) under control.

So Happy

The boy isn't all that expressive with his emotions; he's never particularly liked to be touched (unless its on his terms) nor has he ever been very generous with his hugs and kisses.

Much to our parental delight, that started to change recently.  The boy began to verbally express his feelings.  I remember the first time, It was morning and he'd been playing in his room for about 20 minutes.  The moment I opened his bedroom door he ran to me, gave me a huge hug and exclaimed that he was 'so happy'.

In that moment, my heart melted and continues to melt, each and every time he tells me that he's so happy.

For the hubs and I, those two words are practically an addiction, like crack for parents.  Every time we open his bedroom door we silently hope that the onslaught of love from our little man is there waiting for us.  Of course its not, because if it was, it would become commonplace far too fast.

Despite our efforts, those two words will not be tricked or coerced out of him, we simply must wait for his moments of joy and revel in the love that our little man chooses to share with us.

When he's so happy, its infectious, we are too.

Skechers Hot Lights | Review & Giveaway

When I was a kid, summer was way too long, I was a bit dorky and during two months I was left to my own devices I spent a lot of time riding my bike to the library and a longing for September to arrive.

Aside from school starting back up, the other perk of summer ending was 'Back to School Shopping'.  We were a family of five living on a single, self-employed income, so budgets were tight, but we always got a little bit of money to buy a few key wardrobe items including a pair of runners for the new year.

If you are still looking for shoes that will satisfy your little ones need for style and excitement and your need for value and quality construction, check out Skechers Hot Lights for boys and Skechers Twinkle Toes for girls.

Being a mother of boys, I had the chance to review the Hot Lights, Manifold equipped with both LED headlights and running lights and I'm certain any car-obsessed little man is going to love them.  From a parents perspective, the lights are not too bright and distracting and the shoes are laced with bungees and secured with velcro making them easy to pull on and off.

From a construction point of view, Skechers Hot Lights are made of synthetic overlain leather, a cushioned insole and a wraparound flexible rubber traction outsole.  As you may know, I'm a firm believer in buying a single pair of quality shoes for my kids, I refuse to buy into the consumerism that more is better and at $53 a pair Skechers Hot Lights meets my need for quality while catching the attention of my little racer.

We're giving away a pair of Skechers Hot Lights or Twinkle Toes to one lucky Momma Stuff Blog reader, check out the Rafflecopter after the jump to enter!

Taming the Toddler Party | UBP11

There's a girl in my office whose son is about a year older than the boy and she's always talking about the birthday party, superbowl party or holiday lunch that she's hosting.  She talks about her parties with such excitement, that in the moment I start to find myself thinking I should host events at my house more often.

It's not that I don't like to have people over, nor that I lack the organization, I just lack the drive to do all the work that having people over entails.  I love impromptu visits from friends and family, but the cleaning and re-organizing, decorating and general preparations for a 'party' just aren't my gig.

In fact the boy just turned 2 and I didn't start getting organized until about two weeks prior.  The event was small and simple with no meltdowns by the boy or the momma.  So if you're like me and like to keep your parties on the downlow, here are a few things I did to tame the toddler birthday party.

Schedule it right - Although birthday parties are generally in the afternoon, the boy tends to be cranky after his nap, especially if you have to wake him up, so we instead opted for a 10am-1pm party, not because it was convenient for us, but because it was the best option for the boy.  Remember its a toddler party, make it about the toddler.

Count the kids - I'm a fan of the method where you limit the number of kids to the age of the child.  Fox example a 2 year old party, requires only two additional children.  The kids aren't really big enough to remember and seriously how many two year olds do you really want running around your place?  We actually only invited one friend again this year and it worked out great.

Count the adults - Kids parties have a lot of obligatory guests, parents, aunties, uncles and close family friends; the number of adults can multiply quickly.  Depending on the size of your house, this means that your home can fill up quickly too.  Remember, you need enough room for the kids to run around, play and keep themselves otherwise occupied!

Keep the food simple - There's no need to go all out making a fancy spread, things like hot dogs and kraft dinner are almost always a hit with kids.  We had organic, gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free chicken hot dogs, some boiled and some barbequed, homemade potato salad (courtesy of my mom), crackers, sausage and cheese, chips and of course birthday cake and everyone seemed satisfied, kids included.

Stay flexible - Toddlers barely do what we want them to do in the best of circumstances, so it seems unreasonable to expect them to behave in a specific way or follow a specific schedulue when their home is full of people and abnormalities.  We opened presents throughout the entire event and since there was only two toddlers present if they wanted to open the toy up and play with it for a while, we let them.  Happy toddlers are a definite requirement for a successful party.

Thanks for stopping by my Ultimate Blog Party 2011 post; I participated in the UBP 2010 and was amazed by the amazing sense of community and all the great new blogs I discovered in the process.

If you have a few extra moments, please stop by my current giveaway
for a machine washable Degraaf Designs Diaper Bag
to celebrate my Ddrops Sponsorship to Blissdom Canada!

http://www.mommastuffblog.com/2011/03/diaperbag.html

preparing a toddler for the new baby

If you type 'prepare toddler for baby' into Google, you'll get close to a million hits and although I definitely haven't read them all, I have read a number of articles in my parenting magazines and email newsletters on the topic and they all pretty much say the same thing.  Expect some regression in your older child, make time especially for them, make sure that you prepare them and talk to them before the baby arrives, etc etc.

What the articles don't tell you, or at least haven't told me, is that behavioural changes in your child can start to occur long before the baby arrives.  Despite all my reading, in no way was I prepared for my 2 year old to suddenly start becoming mommy-obsessed and clingy.

I so did not expect him to...

• Start crying and screaming each night before bed; he's been sleeping on his own since 5 months and suddenly mommy's presence is required for at least 10 minutes after books are finished.
• Start waking in the night and screaming every time I left his room, until I figured out that sitting in the rocking chair for 10-15 minutes was enough to for him to settle back into a slumber. 
• Start dragging his 'bear' and 'blankie' everywhere.  Usually they don't even leave the bedroom, this week he's taken them with him to his grandma's every day and she tells me he's even taking them in the stroller.

Combined with the tiredness that comes from being 34.5 weeks pregnant, raising a toddler and working full-time outside the home, I have to admit I've been feeling a little bit overwhelmed.  Fortunately, after a visit to my midwife, I felt both relieved and up to the challenge.

She assured me that the boy's behaviour was perfectly normal, that toddlers hear much more than they can understand and thus find themselves very confused about what exactly is happening.  They hear things like 'where's the boy going to go when you're at the hospital?' or even 'where's the baby going to sleep' and they start to feel displaced because as far as they know, they're not going anywhere.  And so, its just natural that they become clingy; they are such observant little creatures, we really need to give toddler's more credit.

My midwife also mentioned that often in these situations 'Daddy just won't do' which greatly relieved the hubs who was starting to take the boys actions a little personally (despite his best efforts not to).

The best news of all?  The midwife also mentioned that in most cases toddler behaviour returns to normal shortly after the arrival of the baby, once they realize that although things are different, neither mommy nor the toddler is going anywhere or being left behind, a new normal emerges.

Some twitter chatter has indicated that this final point may be optomistic, regardless I'm going to hold onto the hope that once the baby arrives, the boy will find his balance and the clinginess will start to dissipate.  Did it work that way for you?

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Don't forget to check out our current giveaway 

A Degraaf Designs Washable Diaper Bag 
http://www.mommastuffblog.com/2011/03/diaperbag.html

Toddler Property Laws

My friend who recently got married is in the midst of some serious spring cleaning and came across some information sheets from when her two teenage daughters were toddlers and she passed them on to me.  Although I'm sure I've seen this before, I don't remember where or when, but the truth of it made me smile.

Toddler Property Laws:
If I like it, it's mine.
It it's in my hand, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
It it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
If I saw it first, it's mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken, it's yours.

I think these sorts of anecdotes are supposed to make us feel better when our toddler's act possessive with their toys and belongings.  I suppose that ownership in and of itself is a fairly new concept for a 2 year old, its part of their realization of self.

Sometimes I worry that I take for granted the understanding that we are individual entities, with our own thoughts, feelings and opinions?  As a parent, I try to keep things in perspective; to the boy the world must feel so big and overwhelming sometimes.  But with his ever increasing vocabulary, and sometimes boldly defiant behaviour, it can become so easy to forget.

Is there a way for parents to effectively keep our expectations in check with our children's development, at least most of the time?    Last week the boy said 'I'm hungry' for the first time and in the moment I didn't even realize the magnitude of growth and understanding associated with saying 'I'm hungry' rather than just 'hungry'.  Granted he hasn't said it again, but when I realized that he had made a connection between what he was feeling with himself as an individual, my heart swelled with pride.   

I know I'll never realistically be able to consider the boys mental and emotional development in every moment and every action, but I try and relish in the little accomplishments because I already see that with children in tow, time flies by in the blink of an eye.

Druide Baby Starter Kit and Pur & Pure Review

Druide is an an ECOcert certified Canadian company that creates personal care products that are natural, organic, biodegradable, scented without synthetic perfums and preservatives and all their products are paraben,sodium laurel sulfate and nut free.  In short Druide encompasses all of the things I look for in personal care products.  Druide has a very honest website, including a listing of the ingredients used and their benefits; a surprising rarity on personal care product websites.

I had the opportunity to test out the Baby Starter Kit, which includes four great products in a clear carrying case; a great present for the eco-momma's in your life.  We also had the chance to test out a few products from the Pur and Pure line, which contain no fragrance and are designed for hypersensitive people with sensitive skin.

My absolute favourite product was the Baby Protecting Balm, which is designed to rebuild and protect sensitive skin.  The balm is very soft and slick making it easy to apply to the boys diaper area whenever signs of redness appear.  The boy put up no protest when applying the baby protecting balm and I found that redness was drastically reduced, if not gone within a single diaper change. 

The Baby Shampoo utilizes hibiscus flower extract and natural fruit extracts to create a delicious smelling cleanser that eliminates unwanted bacteria and yeasts.  The shampoo suds' easily and left the boys hair smelling yummy and feeling squeaky clean.  Like all other shampoos we have tried, the boys scalp was still dry and a little flaky after use, but in truth this is an issue of the boys', not the product. 

The Calming Baby Soap utilizes mango butter, chamomile, vitamin E and aloe making it an anti-inflammatory and purifying blend.  Like the other products in the Baby Starter Kit, the calming baby soap smells delicious, it suds' beautifully and left my skin feeling soft and clean, but not slimy with mouisturizers like some soaps do.  The unique shape of the soap includes a divet on the top, so that you can mash the dregs of your previous bar right into it, a trait that I personally think is fabulous.  

Unfortunately, the boy was hypersensitive to the calming baby soap, but the Pur and Pure Soap which contains no fragrance at all, didn't cause the boy any irritation.  The Pur and Pure Shower Gel based on olive and rice proteins, was also provided for us to try as a soap alternative.  It's mild, scent-free cleansing abilities didn't irritate the boy's skin and was a great alternative for his hypersensitive skin.

The Baby Soothing Lotion is intended to repair young skin and soothe irritations including itchiness, rashes and sunburn.  It felt smooth and silky on my skin and was not greasy at all.  It was quickly absorbed, but left my skin smelling great.  Sadly, the boy also displayed hypersensitivity to the Baby Soothing Lotion.

Pur and Pure Face and Body Lotion was provided as an alternative to the baby soothing lotion for us to try.  It uses rice proteins and is specifically designed to be free of irritating agents.  I was happy to discover that for the boy, this lotion lived up to its claims and caused no irritation following use on multiple consecutive days. 

Overall, I was impressed with Druide products and would feel confident buying a Baby Starter Kit for any of my eco-momma friends, provided there was no history of skin conditions, eczema and hypersensitivity (which we have in my family), in that case, I would definitley steer towards Druide' Pur and Pure line.  Find out more about Druide on their Website, Facebook and Twitter.

babibu beautiful.bamboo.babywear review

Do you ever think about starting your own business, about leaving behind your current life and taking a chance on a dream?  I think we all do, sometimes.  Sometimes I think in another life I could have opened a gluten-free bakery or written a book, but right now, in this life, I'm right where I want to be.

And I'm willing to guess that Sarah Lopez, mom behind babibu is pretty happy where she is too.  Sarah was recently the featured mom on True Cuddles, where you she shares her story; how it all started as a way to clothe her own son in eco-friendly, stylish attire, and now less than a year after the launch, babibu is a 'beautiful.bamboo.babywear.' reality - way to go Momma!  And her son was born the same month as the boy - seriously, kudos to you Sarah! 

I was fortunate enough to receive a pair of karate pants for the purposes of this review and they are soft, really soft. When I pulled them out of the envelope, they immediately went to my cheek.  The bamboo is light and flowy, wicks away moisture, is hypoallergenic, anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-static; perfect for the boys sensitive skin.

I found the sizing on these pants generous, I simply rolled the waistband down a few times and the pants fit perfectly.  Since bamboo is so thin, there was no bulky roll around his waist.  The karate pants washed and dried easily, and didn't seem to pill up, which some of my other bamboo products have done in the past.  They did however catch some cat hair on them, but not enough to be bothersome.

In terms of aesthetics, I think they look adorable, however both my Mom and Sister told me they looked like culottes.  They went so far as to tell me they would make great 'house pants'.  So, what do you all think?  Cute pants or or not-so-cute culottes?  The pants are also available in slim, which may have been a better choice for the boy's little bum and hips.

Designed and handmade in Toronto, I'm a fan of supporting Canadian entreupeners, particularly when they make quality, eco-friendly products.  And babibu is doing just that, make sure you check them out on Twitter and Facebook to keep up to date on all their news. Babibu makes super soft, eco-friendly products, I rate them a 4!

Independence at 16.5 months

The boy is getting so big, so fast.  He's so independent these days and he's beginning to assert his will and display his personality.  He's testing boundaries and pushing back on pretty much everything.

• My son who eagerly crawled up the stairs each night for bath time, now happily runs around naked, but refuses to sit in the tub.  He's stopped crying every night (thank goodness that only lasted about a week) but there's no way he's sitting down and making things easy.
  
• He recently tried signing to my Mom that he wanted to 'eat' right at the exact moment she put him into the crib for nap time; Good try little man, your Popo is way tougher than that.
  
• The boy refused plastic spoons in favour of regular cutlery months ago and now rarely lets me feed him, or even help guide the spoon into his mouth.  He does let me load the spoon up with food, but I need to put it back on his tray for him to pick up himself or he purses his lips and shakes his head no.
  
• The boy waited 14 months before he started walking, two months later he's running and refusing to hold our hands.  Fortunately once he figured out what the Teddy Bear Harness was for, he was in love.  He now pulls at it on the way out the door, this silly little bear means his freedom and he knows it.

I'm so proud of him, he's taking the world by storm and I love it.  The fact that its all happening so quickly and I'm away from him for so much of each day, I don't love quite so much.  Although I know he will always need me, I also know he'll never need me in quite the same way.  I guess just as the boys independence strengthens him, it tests my resolve by tweaking my working mommy guilt.

How is your little one expressing his/her personality?
How do you cope with your child's budding independence?