When is Good-ish NOT Good Enough?

Today, in the midst of our morning chaos, I started to cry.  Feeling overwhelmed by life,  I took a moment to breathe and before I knew it, I was sitting on the stairs, my head in my hands, my body quivering as I tried to contain the tears.

I know it's cliche but as a mom I'm used to feeling like I'm fraying at the edges,  but the  last few weeks have left me feeling like I'm ripping apart at the seams. 

Everything started when I took an intense week long course that had me studying until 1 am every night and commuting 45 minutes in each direction.

Then I spent 3 days at the hospital when 4 year old Bolt slipped off the top of a little tykes play centre at daycare and broke his elbow, fractured  both bones in his forearm and needed surgery, pins and wires to put everything back together.

I spent another day at the hospital when Bolt started showing signs of infection with a 40 degree fever, which ultimately required removal of his cast for careful examination prior to recasting and a round of heavy duty antibiotics.

At the same time, in addition to feeling neglected, 2 year old Simba has also had a flu complete with a fever and diarrhea.

And since both boys have been sick, they only want their momma and sharing her isn't an option.

And forget the pile waiting for me on my desk when I finally got back to work.

I'm already feeling stretched so thin and today's fun includes dragging Bolt back to the hospital to have blood work and confirm his infection has cleared up. I can see the fight already; what kid likes a 'poke'?

When asked how I was doing at work this week, I answered simply, good-ish.  My friend laughed and told 

me she was going to steal the phrase because her life is in the midst of different, but equally draining, turmoil.

But it begs the question, when does good-ish become not good enough? 

Family Comes First: A Working Mom's Dilemma

Three months ago I made a difficult decision that really wasn't a choice at all. I temporarily reduced my work week to three days so that I could spend more quality time with my boys, particularly with Bolt who was, at the time, repeatedly crying for for Mommy on an almost daily basis.

At that particular juncture, Bolt's behaviours were peaking. He was hitting, he was crying, and he was overwhelmed on a daily basis. He cried each morning that he didn't want to go to daycare, then cried each evening that he didn't want to come home. The stress level in our household was through the roof and literally all four of us were miserable.

I admit I cried more than a few tears; when I had children I assumed I could do it all. Work full-time, be an attentive mother, a loving wife and still have time to blog and follow my personal passions. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that I would have to choose between my family and my job, because truly, its not a choice.

Family comes first. Always.

No question about it, the past three months have been tough, not only have I been attempting to spend quality one-on-one time with my boys, we have been implementing techniques to help four year old Bolt manage his emotions, we've been working with an amazing psychologist who specializes in parenting, children and families, we've changed daycares, we've had a doctor identify that ADD and anxiety are likely contributing factors and after much effort we finally seem to have gotten Bolt's asthma and eczema under control.

I feel like 2013 brought our family to a crossroad and rather than choosing the easy path of denial, we've been putting one foot in front of the other as we travel along the rocky road to our brighter future.

So after three short months, I'm at work full-time, as of this week. My boss expressed concern that my return to full-time was too soon, but my boys are happy. They cheerfully go to daycare each morning (and they've been going four days a week for the past month), we have had literally no reports of excessive hitting or aggression and there are almost no cries for Mommy in my absence.

I'm confident that my boys are ready for Mom to go back to work full-time and I'm even more certain that the personal sacrifice I made, putting my work on the back burner, was without question one of the most important things I have ever done for the health of my family.

What sacrifices have you made for your family?
Working Mom's do you work full-time, part-time or at home? Do you ever consider switching?