The New Old Life

I miss my baby.  Yes he's upstairs in his bed, fast asleep.  But I still miss him.  The hubs and I decided to play softball this year; its not a new thing, in fact we met on this particular team, so we both have a bit of a soft spot for playing together.  I told myself that if I didn't play softball, I would be giving up one of the only recreational activities I have ever had.  That if I didn't play this year, it would only get harder to start up again in the future.  Especially if baby number two is in the plan for the future.

We convinced my little sister to join the team; that way there would usually be at least one us on the sidelines at any given time to take care of the boy and keep him entertained.  Unfortunately (or fortunately depending how you look at it), the boy goes to bed between 7 and 7:30, but softball games don't end until 8/8:15.  The thought of having an overtired, cold and cranky baby at the ballpark after his bedtime doesn't seem like a good idea in any sense of the word.

Of course, our first week we had two back to back games; yesterday he stayed at my Mother-in Laws until after the game and today my Mom came over and watched him at our house.  Things went well for my MIL, but when we got him home last night, not so much.  Lots of crying and difficulty settling, plus he was up until almost 9:30.  Tonight was better; he was in his own home and followed his own routine.  He went to bed on time and without much fuss, but I barely got to see him.

I'm not sure that losing out on my after-work quality time twice a week is worth maintaining high attendance at recreational softball.  Don't get my wrong, I had a lot of fun playing and loved seeing all my friends, but I missed the boy.  A lot.

I think the hubs and I are going to try splitting up our attendance, one confirmed family member per game, so the other can stay home and play and do the nightitme routine, or perhaps even come out to the ballpark for a little while before going home for the bath and bedtime.  I don't want to seem like a bad team player, but my new life with the boy, will never be the same as the old life before the boy, and I would never want it to be.

This new take on my old life is going to take some adjustment and careful planning, but it would have been unrealistic to expect anything different.